heart cracks...

That's my boy. See that smile? Oh, how I love him. Sometimes, it is very hard being his mama. I imagine that sometimes it is very hard being that boy. The world is fighting against him at every moment with it's sounds and bright lights. Wtih the constant movement of people and things. His brain is on overload trying to filter out the nonsense and hold on to what is important. Then he has to try to figure out just what is important. Oy!

He gets very angry sometimes. Mostly it is a reaction to someone here at home. How he deals with it is wanting out. I mean really wanting to leave. He has done it too, most of the time never venturing further than the perimeter of the house. Just to spice it up a little, he has added that he wants to kill himself or swallow coins so he will choke and stop breathing. I don't know how to help him. Usually, I start crying while talking to him and that just angers him more. It is just a mess...

We have contacted an outside agency and a behavioral specialist to help give us some guidance. It will take time.

For now, I will continue to love him and try to glue the cracks in my breaking heart.